“Just look at that slut. You know she slept with every boy in her class.”
“I heard she did ten guys one night at Tracy Martin’s sweet sixteen. Daewon said they pulled a train on her. I don’t even know what that means, but I’m sure it’s disgusting.”
“I mean, look at her. Girl is ratchet as hell.”
“I bet she’s a dyke, too.”
“You can’t be a dyke and screw boys.”
“Tell that to Cindy. She knows this girl’s sister who went to grammar school with her and she said that she was doing girls in like the sixth grade.”
“I told you, that girl is duuurty.”
“Hey, what are you lookin’ at, nasty?”
“Keep on walkin’, bitch.”
Andi Swan pulled her books tight to her chest. She tried to avoid eye contact, staring at a point over the heads of Jazabelle, Elise, Emily and Jade. The four girls narrowed their heavily made-up eyes and spat a slew of obscenities her way.
“You like what you see, lezzie?”
“No one even likes your lonely ass. If I was you, I’d drop out of school.”
They laughed, giving each other high fives. Andi stood her ground. When she opened her mouth to speak, Emily put up a hand and said, “Don’t even think of talking to us. Just keep stepping. You’ll be late for your next abortion.”
Andi’s hand went to her throat, to the gold St. Andrew medallion that her grandmother had given her on her first Communion.
“Bitch is stupid and a ho. You waiting for me to come over and bust your dyke nose?”
Andi swallowed and cleared her throat.
“No,” she sputtered, the words collapsing to the scuffed floor.
“Well, if you don’t walk away, that’s what we’re gonna do.”
“Ratchet!”
This brought the girls nearly to tears, guffawing and stomping in circles.
“I… I just want to see,” Andi said.
They stopped their reverie. “See? See what?”
The girls clenched their fists. They had riled themselves up for a good, lopsided ass kicking.
Andi let go of the cross and pointed to the ceiling.
“That.”
The girls looked up in time to take the sudden explosion of concrete directly in their faces. The ceiling came down with a thunderous crash, obliterating the four girls in the flutter of a butterfly’s wings. Andi winced at the sound of their bodies popping like water balloons under the rubble. Crimson gouts of blood spurted through the gaps in the debris.
Kids screamed. Teachers shouted. The hall filled with dust and death. Pandemonium 101 was in session.
Andi coughed. Her eyes stung and her lungs hurt from breathing in the tainted air.
Mr. Bernson, her fourth period living environment teacher, ran over to make sure she wasn’t hurt. He grasped her shoulders. His fingers were hard and bony.
“Are you all right? Did you see what happened?”
Andi slowly looked to him. “I saw the crack. I tried to tell them.”
“Tell who, Andi?”
She pointed at the widening pool of blood seeping from the wreckage. He darted to the pile of concrete, yelling for help, digging for lost treasure.
Clenching her jaw so as not to smile, Andi whispered, “Dumb bitches,” and walked out into the fresh air.
Author’s Note : St. Andrew is the patron saint of sudden death.
Karma’s a bitch, especially to bullies.
~ Hunter Shea
© Copyright 2013 Hunter Shea. All Rights Reserved.
Heed the Tale Weaver: Celebrate the one-year anniversary of the Damned. Through May 7, 2013, upon each new post, a comment you will leave. A package of ghoulish goodies tainted with an offering from every member of the Damned awaits one fated winner – glorious books, personalized stories and eternal suffering at your feet. Now Damn yourself, make your mark below! But remember insolent ones, you must leave a comment, a “like” will not earn you a chance at our collection of depravity. Do not make the Damned hunt you down.
Pen of the Damned 
Nice one, Hunter! It’s always satisfying to see bullies get their just desserts. I love the ambiguity regarding Adni’s involvement… did she cause the collapse a’la Carrie or was she simply a keen observer? Nicely done!
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So glad you saw how open ended I left it. Even I’m not sure what caused that ceiling to crumble. 😉
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“Bitches ain’t shit but ho’s ‘n tricks.”-Dr. Dre
You’ve made the good doctor proud. I often wonder if the world might be a little nicer if the Carrie’s and the Charlie McGee’s were real… like that Russian woman Nina Kulagina. If there were some xmen who could whoop up on folks with a building, people might be a little more selective with their words.
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Bringin the good doctor into the house! Thank you. The world needs more Carries.
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A very satisfying ending! You know that you’ve done a good job of demonising the girls when the reader feels no remorse for their untimely end. The St. Andrew reference is a nice touch, too. Who needs thunderbolts to smite the sinful, when you have a tonne of concrete?
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Sadly, the things those girls said have been thrown at my own daughters. This story was to give them a smile.
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*mad gleeful cackles* I shouldn’t approve at all, but I do, most sincerely. I was picked on as a kid myself and only wish I could’ve pulled off something like this. With the same level of ambiguity about the cause, that is. XD
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It’s ok to indulge in a little revenge fantasy from time to time! So glad you ‘liked’ my Bitches.
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Well, if the other writers say it’s okay, I’m not worried about it! 😉
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Perhaps t’was the foulness they spouted that caused the ceiling to crack. So they brought about their own demise.
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Morons are very good at bringing about their own ends. 😉
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Payback is a bitch, They(tm) say… *toothy grin* I think this Andi of yours Hunter Shea has very little on Mr. King’s Carrie. *they’re-called-breasts-mama-and-every-‘bitch’-has-’em (creative-license)-grin*
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Speaking of Carrie, isn’t there another remake in the works? Wonder how they’ll screw that one up.
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Oh…this one was really good…couldn’t see quite where it was going until the end…nicely crafted.
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Thank you so much!
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Why, Hunter, look at the mess you’ve made! Who is going to clean that up? LOL
Great tale of the meek not only seeking, by achieving revenge! I’m sorry to hear that your own little ladies have had to endure such ridicule. Teen-aged girls are the cruelest creatures on the planet. I was a quiet, bookish, abusee as a teen myself, and I fervently hope your gals enjoyed this evil little complot de vengeance!
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My girls, like Run DMC in the day, are tougher than leather. They said this is their favorite thing I’ve ever written. 🙂
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That is the best review you’ll ever get!! 😀
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you got that right.
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Hunter, I really enjoyed your story, but when I read that your daughters had to go through some bullying, I appreciated it all the more. First things first: I hope your daughters have held their chins high and are feeling okay. Second: I hope they laughed their asses off over how their old man took care of business 😉
What I liked about “Bitches” is that it’s simple, straightforward & concisely effective. And the ending was perfect…leaving the door ajar, per se, as to how the ceiling collapsed. St. Andrew is quite the trickster 😉
Well done, Hunter!!
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Thanks Joe. My girls were thrilled with this one. Hmmm, wonder why. LOL
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Nothing like a little sweet revenge, Hunter! Great story! This goes to show that short and sweet can be accomplished with a deft Pen. Damned awesome. This receives Five Squished Bitches from me!
Blaze
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I snorted soda through my nose when I read ‘five squished bitches’!
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The visual is most exemplary, Hunter!
Blaze
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As others have said, I’m sorry to hear your daughters have had to endure this kind of thing. I enjoyed your tale because I too was bullied at school, and maybe I shouldn’t say this, but if I could have got rid of the bullies this way and got away with it…? I think I would have done it. 😉
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We all dare the dream. 🙂
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Hunter, I loved this story! Sweet revenge
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Th best kind.
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