You Have Always Been Nothing

September 25, 2024September 12, 2024 ~ TheDamned ~ 2 Comments

When you’re dead, it’s forever. There’s nothing at all, and you won’t even know. You will know nada and be nada just like before you were born. Like every cockroach and worm and yes, human, that has ever lived. And there’s nothing you can do about it, except choose the time and place of your demise. I am here to facilitate that.

The forming of the Universe, the birth of the sun and the planets, the development of life on earth, were all unknown to you before your existence. For practically forever, for billions of years, you were nothing. The Buddhists say that to be in that state is Nirvana, the absence of thought and feeling and consciousness.

Now you’re aware of a tiny slice of that consciousness, and this experience isn’t even real. Consciousness is an evolutionary illusion, and according to scientific theory, formed to help you survive. Aliveness is purely a physical phenomenon. Even your awareness is a lie, to help your body avoid enemies. You may ask “but what about memory, isn’t that the story of the self?

Well, if you were only as old as what you could remember, you’d still be a child. These memories are not real either, because the time that they happened does not exist anymore. Your memories are all mind illusion, imagination. What I said three seconds ago has disappeared, except perhaps in your short-term recollections, which as I’ve said, are perpetually trying to grasp onto what no longer is.

I bring you these straight, true words to assist in the choices you must make today. I would advise making the right decision, because pain is all your mind is experiencing. You’re suffering from a terminal illness, causing you useless suffering, and a few more weeks of hurt is all you’ll know. I see you’re feeling the symptoms right now, even though you’re on an intravenous morphine drip. We have the liquids and the instruments right here, to offer you a way out, a way back to nothingness, where we all came from and where we’re all going. Even myself.

I fear too, the end of my life, but as it’s inevitable, my fear is useless. There’s no running away. I focus on other things, for instance the placing of morphine needles in ancient, diseased bodies, for which I am reasonably paid. My goal is to relieve suffering. I help others discover their true nature and the true meaning of existence.

Other people may briefly grieve your departure, but they’re living in illusion also. They’ll die too, and within a few years nobody will remember that you or they ever existed.

My words may seem stark, but they are merciful. Why not cut that suffering short?

Why not end it now? It’s the freest decision you’ll ever make.

Do I take pleasure in discussing this subject? Not at all, my smile is merely a reflection of my brain’s chemical processes. Everyone must capture some sense of the absurd, which we could call humour, in order that we not go completely mad. I want to stay sane. My chuckle is not personal.

What about God, you ask? Well, we all came from the womb, where all our needs were met. Food, touch, rest, we waited for birth, in the meantime we floated and grew. Memory feelings of that time and place underpin a longing to return, and we make up heaven and God as substitutes for our mother’s belly. Yes, we all want to go back to the heavenly womb. But that time will never occur again. The best times happened before we were even out of that place. No use in calling upon God because God was your Mom. She’s passed away, gone into the void. God is dead.

It’s time for me to leave, my shift ends in fifteen minutes. And it’s your time to go also. You’re not capable of helping anyone, or making the world better, all you can do is lie in bed. You need help rising to use the bathroom. It’s not your fault, but your life is useless.

There is no need to weep, but if you must, have a good cry. Tears are dripping with toxins, and it’s natural for our body to force those out. Even in our last moments, our bodies still want to keep going. They are hardworking machines, aren’t they? Indeed, I am smiling again. That statement tickled my funny bone.

Yes, I can make you a final appointment. Tomorrow morning. I commend you for making up your mind. So many people dither until they’re no longer capable.

At ten tomorrow, I’ll be here for the final time, and we’ll end all your worries and suffering forever. Your life will rise to enter Nirvana, the void where all your individual desires and sufferings disappear. That is as close to heaven as you will ever get. Into the emptiness of non-existence and disconnection, forever and forever and forever.

All things must pass, as now-deceased Beatle George Harrison wrote in his song of the same name. George is gone, too, as he predicted. And to quote another deceased Beatle, “there’s no hell below us, above us only sky.” Nothing to look forward to, literally he he.

When the nurse comes to check on you, give her your last breakfast order. I recommend decaffeinated coffee and maybe a slice of rye toast. Try and focus on the taste. Round ten, I’ll bring the needle and the death juice. Wipe away those tears, maybe try and count your heart beats, one way to pass the time.

Have a good night, my friend. Remember, we’re all living this illusion together, at least until tomorrow.

∼ Harrison Kim

The Banshee’s Wail

September 18, 2024July 13, 2024 ~ TheDamned ~ 5 Comments

The village of Dunmore lay shrouded in a mist as Aoife stepped off the bus, her camera slung over her shoulder. She had come to document the local folklore, the chilling tale of the banshee, whose wail heralded death. The villagers’ fear hung in the air like a shroud, but Aoife was skeptical, considering the Banshee legend nothing more than superstition.

The first few days were uneventful. Aoife captured picturesque landscapes and interviewed wary villagers. Then, on the fourth night, she heard it: a mournful, piercing wail that seemed to freeze the very air. She bolted upright in bed, her heart pounding and her hair standing on end. Her skepticism wavered as the eerie sound reverberated through the village.

The next morning a body was found. Old Mrs.McConnell, her face twisted in a silent shriek of terror, lay cold and lifeless in her bed. The village was in an uproar, whispers of the banshee spread like wildfire. Determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, Aoife reviewed her photos from the previous days. One image, taken near the old cemetery, sent a shiver up her spine. In the background, partially obscured by the mist, stood a ghostly figure. The image was faint but unmistakable. It was of a woman with wild, streaming hair, hollow soulless eyes and her mouth opened in an unheard scream.

Intrigued and a bit unnerved, Aoife decided to investigate the cemetery that night. As she approached the crumbling gravestones, the temperature seemed to drop. Her breath became visible, mingling with the ever present mist in the graveyard. Unaware, she began to pant heavily as she heard the wail again, closer this time. She raised her shaking hands and began taking pictures frantically. Suddenly she saw her: the banshee.

The banshee stood before Aoife, a ghastly image of sorrow and rage. Her long, tattered dress, once white, now hung in shreds. It fluttered behind her in the cold night breeze. Her hair, wild and matted, streamed around her like a dark halo. Her eyes burned with an otherworldly light that seemed to pierce Aoife’s soul. The banshee’s mouth was twisted in an eternal scream. Her lips cracked and bloodless, emitting a wail that echoed with the anguish of centuries. She lunged at Aoife, who stumbled backward, barely escaping. In that brief encounter a vision flooded her mind: the brutal death of a woman accused of witchcraft and murdered by the villagers centuries ago. Her name was Bridgid.

Shaken by the encounter, Aoife sought out Liam, a local historian with a reputation for uncovering the village’s dark secrets. She found him in his cluttered study, surrounded by ancient tomes and dusty scrolls. Together, they pieced together Bridgid’s tragic story. She had been a respected healer, known for her kindness and wisdom. However, during a time of hysteria and fear, she was accused of witchcraft by envious villagers. Bridgid was dragged from her home, subjected to a sham trial and ultimately brutally killed by the villagers at the edge of the cemetery. A punishment befitting a witch. Her final moments were filled with unimaginable agony as the flames licked at her skin and the acrid smoke filled her lungs. Her screams of pain and pleas for mercy were drowned out by the crackling flames and the villager’s cold, unfeeling stares. Her vengeful spirit had been transformed into the banshee, her wail a curse upon the village.

The banshee’s attacks intensified, each night more terrifying than the last. Within a week, six villagers were found dead. One evening the village was shaken by the sound of a blood curdling scream. The next morning, a young farmer named Eamon was found dead in his barn. His face was frozen in a mask of terror. Deep, jagged scratches marred his chest as if something was trying to claw his heart out. The hay around him was scattered and bloodied, telling the tale of a violent struggle. Eamon’s death was more brutal than the previous attacks. It sent a wave of dread through the villagers. The attacks continued, each more violent than the last. The bodies were discovered twisted and contorted into grotesque poses, like macabre mannequins. The villagers were on the brink of hysteria. Aoife and Liam knew they had to act fast. They realized that confronting the banshee directly and laying Brigid’s tormented spirit to rest was their only hope in ending the carnage. They prepared a ritual, gathering relics of hope and love. They planned to summon the banshee at the spot of Brigid’s murder.

That night, under the blood red moon, they performed the ritual. An icy wind swept through the cemetery carrying with it the banshee’s wail. Emerging from the mist, her spectral form gilded towards them, The ground shook as she advanced, her fury evident. Aoife and Liam were terrified but resolute, they pleaded with Brigid’s spirit. They offered relics of peace and forgiveness, a silver locket containing a lock of Brigid’s hair, an old rosary blessed by the village priest, and a small handwoven doll that Brigid cherished in her childhood. All of these relics were inside of Liam’s safe collecting dust, he knew one day he would need them. These items imbued with love and memory were meant to convey their heartfelt apologies and to honor her unjustly taken life.

In a climactic, supernatural showdown, the banshee’s wail reached an ear splitting crescendo. A sound so intense it felt like it would shatter their very souls. The ground trembled and the air around them seemed to crackle with a dark energy. Aoife and Liam clung to their relics, their hands trembling as they faced the full fury of Brigid’s tormented spirit. The banshee lunged at them, her ghostly form flickering and distorting in the moonlight. Her hollow eyes blazed with a mixture of rage and sorrow. Her spectral hands reached out and clawed the air around them.

The wind whipped violently around them, and the temperature plummeted each breath turning to frost. Aiofe’s voice shook as she recited the words of the ritual. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Just as all seemed lost, she held up the locket, the rosary and the doll. She shouted their apologies and pleas for forgiveness over the deafening wail. The banshee hesitated, her form flickering in and out as if caught between worlds. The rage in her eyes quivered, replaced momentarily by a profound sadness.

With a final desperate plea, Aiofe offered the locket, a tangible symbol of Brigid’s lost innocence. The banshee let out one last heart wrenching cry, then slowly began to dissipate. Her form dissolved into the frigid night air. The wail faded into an eerie silence, and the oppressive darkness lifted. As the first light of dawn broke, the duo collapsed, exhausted but triumphant. Brigid’s spirit had found peace and the village of Dunmore could finally begin to heal from the centuries old curse.

∼ Kathleen McCluskey

Brain Box

September 11, 2024August 5, 2024 ~ Lee Andrew Forman ~ 4 Comments

The tendrils, that’s what Jimmy called ‘em. They got hold of his mind and reached in real far. Slithering, he called it. He said they pulled out something from deep inside, something he never could’ve reached on his own.

Oh, he fought it. That I know. Pills, powder, it didn’t matter. As long as it ‘altered his natural state’ he said, it was fine by him. But it was never enough. Reality was too bent for him to see straight, so crooked was the only way to be. That was the only thing that made sense to him. He said when reality became thought, and thought, reality, he couldn’t tell which was which. And when Jimmy’s mind was in a jumble, so was everything around him. I saw things fly off the shelves when he got upset, furniture jumped around the room when he was mad. Never saw nothing like it before. He just couldn’t control it.

When the walls closed in on poor old Jimmy, they really closed in. I think he lived his whole life in fear. I know I would if I had to live with that kind of…condition. Yes, I seen it myself. That run-down old trailer-home of his, crumpled up like a soda can. Poor bastard worried himself to death.

∼ Lee Andrew Forman

Girl, Waiting

September 4, 2024July 13, 2024 ~ Marge Simon ~ 7 Comments

The bench is cold, the station deserted. She has no idea when the next train will arrive, or even if there are any trains left, still running. She knows she must get away from here, but she doesn’t remember why.

The floor is littered with refuse –used condoms, cigarette butts. All around her is a dark fantasy out of Dahlgren, a depraved city of fallen angels, where the roads that lead here have no exit. She begins to count the tiles on the floor. She feels inexplicably dirty, defiled.

Distant and low, then louder –the wail of a train horn. The floor quakes with the rumble of wheels on steel. She jumps up, rushes to the rattling doors in time to see it thundering by. Then silence.

She returns to the bench. She has no idea when the next train will arrive. With a sigh, she resumes counting the tiles on the floor. The bench is cold. Her skin itches. She begins to scratch her arms. Over and over, until the skin gives way and blood oozes to the surface. Another train and yet another rumble past, but none will be stopping here. She is too weak to stand, but she remembers now. They never do.

∼ Marge Simon