Hollow

In the time of the hallowed moon, in the season where the chill lingers, the world grows still, and waits. Alone at campfire, I sit, wanting to burn. The firelight draws a sorcerer’s protective sphere around me; I dare not turn my head to see what lies outside. The darkness squirms.

Behind me, the forest exhales. Ashes in the fire swirl into embers, ghost upward into a vampire sky that sucks them gray again. The embers are a surrogate for my soul, fragmented, blackened, lit only by a semblance of heat that leaches quickly away.

I look to the stars. Perhaps they will comfort. Their light cannot be consumed by any earthly hunger. They care not for the concerns of carbon. But their icicle twinkling reminds me too much of cruel laughter. Shrinking, I coil in upon myself.

Nearer laughter swells. It howls in the trees. It cackles in the shadows. The night puts on a cloak of thorns. I close my eyes but my ears are open and stung. A visitor is coming, stalking on tenebrous limbs. I feel the weight of his presence, the surge of air that he pushes before him.

My heart hammers a heavy rhythm; my mouth tastes of venom and brass. Blood drums like the hooves of horses beneath my skin. Sweat crawls like freshly birthed roaches. Stench overwhelms—mold and fungi, toads and spittle-bugs, spider webs painted with tincture of silver.

And now he whispers at my shoulder. Gooseflesh arises as he cajoles me to spurn the light, to gaze upon him, to own his words. He promises a balm for sad fear—if I join him. Perhaps I will accept. Why cling to fire-glow when black-shine offers honeyed freedom from all concerns? Of course, the visitor is lying. Nothing sweet gilts the freedom that he offers.

I’m not sure that matters.

∼ Charles Gramlich

© Copyright Charles Gramlich. All Rights Reserved.

A Little Too Late

He got home just after six, the sky outside dimming to a soft violet, crimson fingers of clouds made the sky look as though it was losing a fight with the darkness. Everything was quiet since his girlfriend had left. No TV. No cooking sounds. No music, not even the dog barking next door. Just the soft hum of the refrigerator and the tick of the grandfather clock that sat in the corner.

Will dropped his keys in the bowl that sat on the oak entryway table and loosened his tie. He stretched with a groan and a sigh. The kitchen greeted him in the usual manner, plain, clean, too quiet. He opened the fridge and reached for the milk.

He paused and tilted his head.

A small, torn scrap of paper sat beneath the carton. Damp around the edges. He frowned, picked it up. It felt soft, as if it had been wet and dried. The image was hard to make out. A patch of floor, maybe, dark tile, smudged red in one corner.

He shrugged his shoulders, probably garbage. Maybe something that had stuck to the bottom at the store. He threw it away.

The second piece was in the silverware drawer. He spotted it while reaching for a spoon, wedged between the knives and forks. Same texture, slightly damp, curled corners. This one had a shadow in the corner. A shoulder maybe? A doorway?

He stared at it longer than he meant to. Then dropped it in the trash beside the first one.

The third piece was on the bathroom sink. Will noticed it after he had washed his hands. He reached for the towel and saw it. Had it been there before he washed his hands? He was sure that it wasn’t. It was as if it was placed there, tucked next to the faucet. Icy fingers ran up his spine, he didn’t throw this one away. His anxiety began to gnaw at his sanity.

He took it to the kitchen and pulled the other two pieces from the trash. All the pieces had the same off white border. Same torn edges. Same faint scent, like burnt plastic and Autumn leaves. They fit together. A little unevenly, but enough. The tiles from the first piece flowed into the second. The third pic looked like the corner of a leg, pale and stretched out.

His stomach did flip flops.

It was just a picture. Probably from an old magazine. Maybe one of those “crime scene art” pictures that his ex loved so much. Had she left this scattered through the house?

He laughed it off, a little too loud.

The fourth piece was inside the cabinet, behind the coffee filters. He wasn’t looking for it, he was just making sure he had enough for the morning brew. But there it was, slightly damp and folded waiting in the shadows.

Will took it to the table. He pressed the edges together, they locked together easily. The image expanded. A body laying on the floor, one leg bent under the other. A broken coffee mug near the hand. Dark liquid was smeared across the tile that looked all too familiar.

The same tile as his kitchen. He rubbed his face. Felt a throb behind his eyes, something about this photo made his head ache. He stared at the picture as beads of sweat began to form on his brow. He shook his head and shivered. 

The house felt colder now. Not a broken furnace cold but empty cold. Like someone had opened a door and never shut it. He tried calling a friend, just to chat, to get out of his own head. No answer. Texted. No reply. The silence stretched between each second.

The final piece came as he stood at the kitchen sink sipping water. Outside, the street was quiet. One streetlight buzzed faintly. A moth fluttered against the glass, he looked down at the sill.

There it was. Wet and sticking to the wood. Its image was clear and terrible. His hand trembled as he set his cup down on the counter and carried the final piece to the table. He didn’t sit down.

He assembled the photo standing up. One piece at a time, no hesitation, like he knew what the image would be.

When he was done. He saw himself. Not metaphorically, not imagined. It was him. In his own kitchen, face down, one arm twisted under his chest. A small pool of blood beneath his head. Glass shards beneath his feet. Dead.

Will staggered back from the table, heart pounding. He looked down at the floor, the counter, and the cabinet. Every detail matched the picture perfectly.

Even the cup of water.

His elbow bumped the counter. The glass tipped, he reached for it…and missed. It hit the floor and exploded. Water splashed across the tile, shards spread around like jagged teeth. He froze.

A chill rolled up his spine, “no, no, no,” he whispered. He stepped back. His heel caught the edge of the spill.

He slipped. Time stretched.

He twisted, arms flailing, eyes wide. His forehead hit the corner of the granite countertop with a wet, sickening crack. The force bent his neck sideways. He collapsed, shoulder first then skull again. His temple bounced off the tile with a dull, bone splitting thud. One leg kicked, his body spasmed.

Then nothing.

On the kitchen table, the assembled picture sat undisturbed. For a moment, it held its awful image. A man face down on the tile, blood seeping from his head, frozen in the final beat of his life. Then, without wind or heat, the paper curled. The corners lifted and the image shimmered. Piece by piece it dissolved into thin air, vanishing like breath on glass. 

No one saw it go. No one knew it had even been there. An unheeded warning, a little too late.

∼ Kathleen McCluskey

© Copyright Kathleen McCluskey. All Rights Reserved.

Way in the Middle of the Air

Ezekial sees a wheel a rollin’ way in the middle of the air.  Huge and solitary,  spinning alone in the Universe. Dull silver and dead on the outside, twirling slowly in the perpetual motion of zero gravity.   Ezekial must find out… what lies within?  A single oily protuberance pokes from the central axle.  A nipple at its end. Something black seeps from the tip, one drop at a time.  Is there life inside this wheel? No air in space, but does the dripping and the substance indicate a world within?  He and all the scientists and overseers watching from earth wonder.  It’s taken years to arrive here, to send an astronaut this far out in space. 

Ezekial bobs near, encased within his space suit, a tiny soul examining this humungous silver thing…. attached cameras all over the outside of his space suit beaming back to earth what is discovered.  He’s a fly on the wheel, a piece of white dust against the brown. He applies X rays and close microscopic focus to the silver covering, the images shared instantly with those on earth.  Then he digs in with his drill.  Right into the black protuberance shining oily, many colours as he works, flowing out now, dispersing, disappearing. Behind Ezekial the vast gulf of space shimmers with stars.   He knows “The whole Universe is watching,” and stops for a moment.  What is the purpose here?

He must find out what’s inside everything, it is like that with all explorers.  They are never content the way things are.  But changes happen, and then we must either go on or give up.  After the death of his wife, Ruth, Ezekial felt like ending it all.  His mission to space stopped him from going over the edge.  Discovery, challenge, risk, that’s why they sent him up there, the winning volunteer for this edgy job.  He wanted it! To escape earth, fly away into nothingness.  No jumping off a bridge, with seconds between the leap and the landing.  He launched into the vastness, his first mission.  This change in his life a miracle. To launch off the edge.  What was left, after Ruth’s suicide?  She made her decision, and left him and the whole world behind.  That took courage.  He’s following her example; grateful the overseers chose him.  They measured his will, and it was strong.

In the medical centre they implanted his brain with new electrodes, to enhance the leap into this mission. Electrodes giving power to his mind, to his resolve and his endurance to survive.  He hasn’t felt much different, only long hours of sleep and dreams on the trip from earth. 

 When his wife lived, he existed for her.  Now he imagines that she’s somewhere in this vast arc of space, waiting.  His forlorn hope is that he will find her.  Maybe not her earthly self, but a sense of who she was to him,  the connection and closeness.  Had he said or done anything to cause her death?  Put her over the edge? On the long trip out from earth, he contemplated the circumstances over and over, without resolve.

All he knows is this:  The physical time with her lies behind him now, like the stars, so far away.   But the meaning of who she was, that would be there with him, moving through the Universe eternal.

He lifts the long steel blowtorch from the floating kit behind him, begins to widen the drilled hole in the wheel.  Funny how the gap parts so easily.  Within that jagged hole, a blackness, yet from that blackness he perceives a form.  It takes on a shape that he does not see with his eyes but feels with his mind. Is it imagination?  Is he really inside a dream, like he’s been so often on this voyage, or is this the reality, here in space two million miles from earth?  This shape whirls and twists, it is a face. Ezekial is sure.  What else could it be but a face within the wheel.  He wonders if this is delusion, but only for an instant.  He peers closer.  His eyes and his consciousness tell him this is the face of Ruth, his dead wife!  How miraculous!  Yet the face stays expressionless. Perhaps bloated somewhat.  A bit spooky.  Drifting across that hole in the wheel, a shifting form.  He perceives his whole existence all around that misty, yet unmistakeable face, his life in relation to the wheel that spins around it.  What was the meaning of coming this far?  Was this the purpose of his whole life, to arrive here at this moment? There’s an infinitesimal chance that his consciousness came to exist along with trillions of expanding stars, then this moment came to be out of an exploding Universe once the size of a human heart…..As he watches and contemplates, his wife’s face becomes an eye… then his own eye looking back at him piercing through the vision of his wife…Ezekial lets his mind go because inside that eye he sees everything.

When you care for someone, that’s all that matters.  What you feel for another is the meaning of everything.  Then if you are lucky the other will feel the same way for you.  From moment-to-moment things will change, the good times and the bad, yet underneath there’s the feeling, of one with another.  It can seem like this harmony will go on forever.  If you are lucky.   But it ends, maybe only after a few turns of the wheel, perhaps after many.   The voices you thought brought you all the significance in your life disappear. Then, the sorrow and the loneliness.  Ezekial knows.  How life can change in an instant. Here though, within this apparatus floating in space, there’s a place that’s eternal. And Ezekial’s been allowed inside.

He’s been here dreaming for some time.  Longer than he realized.  Maybe days, if measured in earth time.  The oxygen in his suit is almost out.  Voices from his radio come in through the suit speakers “Where are you, Ezekial, what’s happening?”

Their voices don’t matter.  They’re from another place, another existence.  He’s ready to transfer now.  His previous life behind him is far away as the stars.  What lies ahead is the deeper meaning. He will let the turn of the wheel draw him out, into this other place.  Is there a sound?  He listens.  Yes, there is something.  Some kind of music, perhaps the murmur of God?  He lifts his head one last time and finds he’s singing to himself, “Ezekial saw a wheel a rollin’.”

 He’s heard that one before, and he lets himself go, every molecule of his body draining, disappearing as says the words.  Yes, he thinks, I sense my body and mind seeping through my space suit, escaping from the physical, one soul drop at a time. First a drop, then a stream, a cascade, a waterfall. This is where he was meant to be, flowing into the wheel, joined in its turning.  This circle in space waited for him his whole life, as he spun and whirled through the years, this always the end point.

He falls into this void, containing nothing and everything, part of the wheel.  He exists and he does not.  He appears and he disappears. 

What do the cameras record?  Better yet, what do the overseers back on earth perceive? A bright flash. Then views from an empty space suit spat away from the hole where Ezekial vanished. The wheel still turning, way in the middle of the air.

Another black drop bulges, then plops out of the closing nipple in the axle, where Ezekial explored and pondered purpose just moments before.

∼ Harrison Kim

© Copyright Harrison Kim All Rights Reserved.