Blinding Insanity

Slashed open in a fit of uncontrolled rage, my gouged and bleeding thigh is nothing but ravaged flesh; it is the thrill of his attention upon me that is beyond compare. As my blood races, he hears it pulse; as my body quivers, he feels it vibrate; as my mind screams, he hears it echo through his own damaged being. He is ever present – this beast, this creature, this untamed demon that stalks me.  Believing me no match for the power his darkness wields, he has been gentle with me till now, wishing not to frighten me with what he truly believes himself to be.

Clawed arm raised to strike again, his breathing is heavy, as labored as my own; his from restraint, mine from fear and desperate longing. He pauses, his hard stare boring into that of my own, gauging if I go willingly or as that of a cowering fool who knows nothing of what she asks of this dark madness. In his eyes I see a confusion of longing coupled with the enamored glee of wanting, an unsure knowledge that he has finally found what he has been seeking; acceptance.

This shatters the final piece of me.

My choice made, I bare my soul with complete submission in the hope of receiving his mark and my eternal salvation; the death of one dim existence, the birth of yet another. I sense still the indecision with which he watches me, unsure if this is to be allowed, or yet another cruel joke in a life fraught with pain, agony, and harsh deception. Do I genuinely offer what I promise? His eyes beg to know. This most gentle of beasts that shall rend me to pieces in a glory of blinding insanity.

His choice yet to be made, my only option to nurture it. I see what lurks behind his mask, I shall not shy from it. I will forever choose to embrace it, though the beast believes it still hides itself behind his reflection.

For now, I shade the glistening pools that reflect all I see at the expense of my own damnation. I wish only to belong to this coupling; though my wish is of little consequence, he’ll take what he will and leave the rest to rot in its own undignified remains.

∼Nina D’Arcangela

© Copyright Nina D’Arcangela. All Rights Reserved.

 

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About Nina D'Arcangela

Nina D’Arcangela is a quirky horror writer who likes to spin soul rending snippets of despair. She reads anything from splatter matter to dark matter. She's an UrbEx adventurer who suffers from unquenchable wanderlust. She loves to photograph abandoned places, bits of decay and old graveyards. Nina is co-owner of Sirens Call Publications, co-founder of the horror writer's group 'Pen of the Damned', and if that isn't enough, put a check mark in the box next to owner and resident nut-job of Dark Angel Photography.

30 responses to “Blinding Insanity”

  1. caliccardi says :

    Powerful writing, Nina. I enjoyed the brutal honesty of the images you created here. That shallow place between pain and devotion is wholely evident in this tale. I wonder what image or imagining become became the inspiration for this piece…. A walk through your dark imagination would be a very scary and enjoyable thing. Thank you for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nina D'Arcangela says :

      Hi Chris – I’m glad you enjoyed Blinding Insanity. It was a brutal one to write, but true to what you extrapolated from it, it’s nothing more than a description of falling into the void of emotional lack-of-choice. Thank you for your kind words, and yes – that stroll through my imagination would be fraught with both unease and laughter. Really glad you liked it!! 😀

      Like

  2. adeleulnais says :

    A wonderful piece, the understanding of the darkness that devotion can bring is clear but also is the merging of two unrelated species? Perhaps, we read what we want to into every word that is written. I loved this piece thank you for posting.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. adeleulnais says :

    Reblogged this on firefly465 and commented:
    from penofthedamned.com a wonderful piece by Nina D`Arcangela

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Joseph Pinto says :

    Sometimes, a piece of prose needs no explanation of its brilliance…

    humbly, do I bow before you… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nina D'Arcangela says :

      With a great deal of entitlement, I place my glass on your worthless form bowed in supplication before me.

      LOL – thank you, Joe. I would agree… Sometimes you just fall into a piece and don’t need to know anything more about it other than what it made you feel. Thank you, as always, for your gracious comment. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Lee Andrew Forman says :

    Great piece! I love the style; it was written so beautifully! I very much enjoyed the sympathy and understanding given to the creature. It gave it a quality of realism and added a great deal of emotional value to the story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nina D'Arcangela says :

      Thank you, Lee! I love this emotive style of writing – it comes very naturally to me, and ‘feels right’, not just correct, when I read it back over. I happen to love the push-pull of emotions in this particular piece; I’m happy you loved it too! 🙂

      Like

  6. Magenta Nero says :

    gruelling, devastation tinged with the erotic, your fate delivered into the creature’s hands. Aftertaste of discomfort and foreboding..

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Gloria says :

    Excellent piece. Always full of emotions. Love it!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Gloria says :

    Reblogged this on Glor's World.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Angel with dirty wings says :

    As I may of said before , I really like your writing ☺️ but I really loved this. It may have something to do with the sense of almost willing submission that I get from it and I can relate to that on a personal level! Your really do have a way with words that makes me (& my girls☺️) believe it’s and that we are sort of there! Does that make any sense? (I’m muddle headed on these pain killers) well all I can say is bravo that lass! AWDW & the girls

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nina D'Arcangela says :

      Hello Angel – I apologize for not replying sooner, I didn’t know there were more comments waiting for me on this post!

      I understand why you grasp this piece completely. To touch on a topic of submission with full understanding of the role a submissive undertakes is far different than to simply write about it. If you haven’t lived this set of emotions, there is only comprehension on behalf of the reader, but comprehension itself lacks the devotion to understand what it is to freely give of yourself to another; to do it by choice; and to do it unquestioningly, unerringly, and without remorse. (That makes perfect sense in my head – I hope it does in yours as well)

      Thank you for your kind and generous words, Angel. I’m happy to know that my writing touched you on such a deep level. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Angel with dirty wings says :

        Thank again! Very few people understand how my lifestyle choice is actually a choice and not just being bossed around or treated like crap by a Dom. I was with someone from the age of 17 till 34 who I loved and trusted , I thought we were on the same page turns out he was a shit! With the Frenchman things just fit right and I’m so happy. Although I nearly gave up on that last year, well on life! So I now live with a man that I know loves me , protects me , keeps me safe and who makes me want to be the best me I can. I also take a huge amount of pride in being able to say I am in a committed , none monogamous polygamous bi relationship, with partners I love very much! Life is good! (Although once a month the pmt is awful, poor Tony living with 4 women!)

        Liked by 1 person

        • Nina D'Arcangela says :

          I can only image what he suffers once a month! But I understand what you’re saying about people not understanding that you have made a life choice to be who and where you are. That doesn’t make you abused; you have made an informed and willing adult choice, and no one should judge you for it. I fully support your (and anyone else’s) right to live the way they choose, doll. Do your thing your way (in this case, his way – though the ultimate choice was, and still is, yours), and do it with pride! 🙂

          Like

  10. Thomas Brown says :

    Rich, evocative, and visceral as only your writing can be, Nina. You always manage to capture such an intensity of feeling across your stories and this one is no exception. Everything from the language to the nature of the scene itself is savage and arresting.

    My favourite line: “This most gentle of beasts that shall rend me to pieces in a glory of blinding insanity.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nina D'Arcangela says :

      Thank you, Thomas!! I truly believe that when you write with your heart and soul, you bleed the piece you are working on more so than write it. What a beautiful description of of my writing you’ve left in your comment… thank you again – I appreciate you more than you know, LDP! 😀

      Like

  11. jonolsonauthor says :

    Sorry for the late comment! *Hangs head in shame and awaits flogging*

    Nina, I don’t know how you do it but you always manage to make the brutal seem beautiful. This is an amazingly powerful piece and I loved it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nina D'Arcangela says :

      No sorry needed – I didn’t even know the comment was here, but there will still be a lashing! lol

      Thank you, Jon. All I can say is I don’t know any other way of writing besides sitting down, opening myself up, and seeing what comes of it… Not very magical, I know – but very true. Thank you for going insane with me, FM!!! ❤ 🙂

      Like

  12. jonolsonauthor says :

    Reblogged this on and commented:
    BLINDING INSANITY by Pen of the Damned’s Nina D’Arcangela

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Tyr Kieran says :

    I so love your writing style; so full over vivid and raw emotion, the power struggles and desperate surrenders! More, please!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nina D'Arcangela says :

      Oh yes, there will be more… I’ll gladly serve my soul on a platter for you, Tyr!! All joking aside, an extremely humble thank you. *bows before … wait, what am I saying?!?* lol 😉

      Like

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